Touch My Muscles

Venezuela Scarface Hugo Chavez has a thing for black supermodels.... No not her. Inexplicably, Supermodel Naomi Campbell, and former girlfriend of U2 Bassist Adam Clayton was charged with interviewing the South American leader. Right before a hit of coke and the 9000th declaration that Bush is the Antichrist, aspires to unite all of Latin America. Assumedly to ensure fewer customs checks as the drugs are transferred north. And speaking of the Antichrist.... Does he make sense?

A short post today as we have thousands of dollars to deposit at the bank, and head to our PO Box to pick up the latest Netflix delivery.

But a couple things on the Myrtle Beach radar....

There is apparently an enormous GOP Debate coming to the Grand Strand tomorrow... And it seems that there is huge sand sculpture of the candidates in front of the Convention Center. No word on if it will include Mitt Romney's hair gel or the old school Giuliani combover. This much is confirmed... Ron Paul will not make the cut. Picture to come tomorrow.

Your Myrtle Beach Tool of the Week: Tony Barnes - A 26 year old degenerate who tends bar at one of the worst locales on the Grand Strand - Tha Bar - and prizes himself on his brainchild cocktail - "Sexy Time on The Beach". How fucking long did it take you to come up with that one? Yeah.. That Borat guy is still pretty funny... You might as well have thrown out a "You Know How I Know You're Gay" reference or maybe a "Two Shots of the Sex Panther Lemon Drop" on your unsuspecting patrons.

Oh, and if you're interested... Here is his Myspace photo.... Moron. It honestly doesn't matter which one you're looking at, but just for those of you who care... It's the one on the right. Sweet sideburns man.

And if anyone is curious, Liberty Bar and Grill at Broadway at the Beach is quite possibly the biggest rip-off for beer at the beach. An underwhelming Clyde's Pale Ale went for $3.75 a pint... and my date, to my chagrin, ordered up a $3.50 bottle of Michelob Ultra. All in all, it was a success because there was a creepy old guy in the corner of the outside beer garden probably fucking the ducks that seem to wander and run amok in that part of Broadway.

Expect a Shrek Marathon review tomorrow. Yes, we will go there. And be prepared for many Donkey jokes.

No... This is not off of the Garden City Pier.... But certainly a candidate for photograph of the year. We'll certainly be purchasing it.